meant to be..

Dedicated to my dear friends

Dedicated to my dear friends, thank you for being there… I love you all…

gy “I wanna you know you wake up I’ll be by your side” “gambarimashou” “saa..”

you “在嗎？” “你不能去愛對方就很無奈吧” “你也快去睡覺好嗎”

rn “你还好吗？” “你真的还好吗?”

wp “。。要保护你。。”“你是个好女孩，你是有价值的，不能。。” “不要哭嘞”

xn “dinner? I cook noodle..” “不知道。。跟着感觉走？”

wk “戴眼識人”

hx “你喜欢的这个人，是怎么样的人？”

B “dun cry…” “ur not my fren... u r BEYOND that!”

sj “。。单靠感觉是走不远的” “dun cry la…” “..i hug you la”

yj “wad happened” “better already?”

ks “follow your heart”

zd “你要多少？” “行”

nii “jinsei ni kouiu hi mo aru sa”

m “i miss you too! love, Nie” “always remember im at ur side”

hf “miss u too!”

recently

Relationship
I lost a 2+year relationship this semester. We actually don’t feel lost of heart, we lost our burden I think.. It was a burden struggled and dragged too long in the end such that no feelings were left. Was there any pity? No. I guess this is the most pity. To be true, I felt very lonely. I told nobody during the period. Then I met another guy, not many friends know bout it but it happened right after my exam. We never got into a relationship, but we got into intimacy.. He s an exchange student and ve now went back. Im serious although I knew that nothing is the ending. The memory left is so unreal. I felt cheap and bad.. and even more lonely.

Work
I ve been working as waitress in Chikuyo Tei 竹葉亭 in Ngee Ann City after exam, yup, like what I ve been thinking, I wanted to work in a Japanese restaurant all the while. I like Japan and Jap food so much.. I can get close to Japanese and it s almost like living the style in Japan. The best part is to send the tray of marvelous food to the customer and see their amazement and how they enjoy the food.. Also to eat food left by customer in kitchen sneakingly ;D.. Everyday work is quite tiring, after work is just computer and drama. Just boring..

Play
Instead of going Japan, US, Hong Kong or China, I went to Redang, finally, with a group of 7 friends.. We went snorkeling, jungle trekking, kayaking.. We woke up 6+am jz to watch sunrise-less sky. It was jz opening eyes to see, open mind to play, open mouth to eat, open all senses to feel, plain relax. I wish I could record down the feelings there when I was in the water. It was really fun and memorable to me, but the group of friends is abit boring, everyday just sleep one.. bleh~ got to know some new friends and some friendly ppl working there. The feeling of knowing new friends in a vacation is different, it s jz like drama..

Back to work
I started work the night after coming back from Redang, and checked exam results as well.. Everything jz back to reality. I hate it.. What I hate more is, I have to soon stop my restaurant work, and focus on my project work in lab.. ); it is by the order of my prof.. He wants me to fully concentrate on my studies and proj. I still don’t have the mind of putting all my effort and making this proj a success. I wonder how am I going to survive this whole year proj..

msn

opening the msn chatting history can be interesting. you rank the history files by size. so the person who chatted with you the most is on top..the interesting part is the result, it shows your level of relationship with that friend, you might wonder 'har..?'
although my comp crashed 3 times such that this is not accurate. although some of your best friends may not be msn-contactable. although some ranked high may not be your best friend. although some of you may not be reading my blog, here you go:
1. casablancao
2. siaogao
3. jb_koala
4. ynotz
5. shixiang
6. lailaizhang
7. betiau
8. mr_kool
9. mr_hatashi
10. spastkid

no 1 the only girl. ppl dont get too close with lone rangers cause they re too protective of themselves and sometimes ended up hurting ppl ard them. but well, im lone ranger too so im ok haaha..
no 2, he s tall, teasing yet attentive, another one who call me xiaomeimei. jz like the one long time ago, whom i wouldnt wan to forget.
no 3 niichan~ he preferred i call him niisan cause it suits his 'image' but i think this one suits him instead..he ranked high not because we chat a lot but because he always pop in with 'WOI' 'got enuf drink water anot'
no 4 is perhaps the only friend i have beside me for so long..
no 5 i hope he quickly find a girl he likes then come back and be my friend damn it!
no 6 was the one i chatted with most often, but it s archived away many times to other log file that it s now ranked 6th. but, it ll never catch up anymore..

world outside

i wan to go japan
i wan to go japan so much..
i know if you have a dream you have to chase hard for it..
i must take jptl test but too bad next test is december and results ll only be out on feb next year!
i realize the importance of international recognization too late
i wonder if i still have any chances to go japan through sch program..

and i still got so many places

i wan to go america..

i wan to go hong kong..

i wan to have chance to explore new world

i always very grateful i have eyes to see..

silly girl

你已经省了很多
你不需要這么做
你這样唯一最难过的是供你的妈妈
你委屈夠了要自己照顾自己

你不需要难过
你一定可以找到懂你的人
你一定可以找到愿意疼惜保护你的人
你一定有人爱

你一个人肯定沒问题
你可以交到新朋友
你可以跳出自己跳出过去 找到新生活
你可以找到真正属于你的天空 你的星星

你哭吧
你喊啦！
好啦 喊完继续好好过

ある晩

one night, lonely quiet in my room,
suddenly wind blows, uu.. breeze makes me feel good
then i smell something very nice 好香好香
i recognized that 味道, someone is frying eggs!!
(although very weird someone cooking at that time, it s jz very late i know)
jz nice i wan to eat eggs!!.. i can feel my saliva rush out and fill my mouth
驀然
i recalled something.. 敗！！！！！
i flew to my pantry
the 好香 is actually 嗆鼻個焦味
cooked egg yolk splattered on floor, and dry smoke rising from.. my 鍋..!!
so it was me! who was cooking 全熟蛋 mayb dont know how many hours ago, ..
arrr.. so bad so smelly~
i opened the fan to cyclone speed

and whole floor was crawlin with those very very fast 黑螞蟻 (this stupid pantry) for those yolk..
i cry out loud and step here and there, got to splash water on them to clean that big mess..

<-- it s so funny i had to keep it ahaha..



**this sem i ve been sleepin very early, 不到日出不甘睡, until very very bright..
this is abnormal, it s term time now! but i still cant control myself, arrrg..
hopefully this sem wont be affected by this..
im still fine i think except for late and almost absence..

new life!

i cant believe im doin it
today, till now have been incredibly amazing for me...

i finally managed to get myself on bed at 5.15am
i opened eyes wide at 8.01am
ya im late and let ppl wait );
mayb my qian3yi4shi2 thought their calling was the long useless hp alarm clock

yo
on the walk way to bball court
saw orange ppl
re they from sheares? i yearn..
we played bball, i finally got to play aft so long longing
i played suck la
but was fun!
but was hot im getting dizzy..
cant take anymore i shout stop with sore throat
we sat under shade watchin eusoff vs temasek female bball game
really giddy and head heavy but still ok
by the time we leave
it s 9.30am i think

had breakfast
and chatted wif a hidden bball gao1shou3
when goin back room
it was 10.50am i think

went back room
greeted other cluster mates brushing
ha...incredible!
im back from exercise and long breakfast and they jz got up!
oh im mighty...

more weird!
i packed all clothes for laundry!
1st time of the sem
1st use of pgp washing machine

(rain pours)

and i actually washed my labcoat!!...
oh my god!
what s happened to me!?

it was raining mao2mao2 after i hanged all clothes
standing in the breeze
kimochi ii...~

and a few episods of my fav anime 'sakura kaado kapputaa' jz done dling!
jz nice my chorus re through
can sit back relax and watch

so i feel good!
so i decided to write new blog
so im meetin someone for lunch now...
so hopefully the rest of the day ll b as beatiful
as well as all other days

mood can b so easily floated with happy peach blossom
i neednt always close myself and too relying to someone

(;

荒芜

我以为我会哭
但是 我没有...

我只是怔怔望着你的脚步
给你我最后的祝福
这何尝不是一种 领悟
让 我 把 自 己 看清楚

虽然那共爱的 痛苦
将日日夜夜在我灵魂最深处

我以为我会报复
但是 我没有

当我看到我深爱过的男人
竟然像孩子一样无助
这何尝不是一种 领悟
让你把自己看清楚

被爱是奢侈 的 幸福
可惜你从来 不在乎





**只有体会过 才懂这首歌能有多痛
只可惜 一切没有那么容易**

merry christmas!...

it s festive mood~
...well you gotta see these you own cause my captures cant tell how beautiful they are...

xmas at citylink



xmas at suntec, simple, nice and diff from others, especially from the stupid CS one



xmas in front of suntec, very nice, jz that didnt capture nicely );



largest fountain in the world



asia at esplanade



we managed to hop onto a parading helicopter



bridge over sg river with merlion spitting water



famous durian on the bay

science should be fun

what s the trick?..



it s video cam shooting from very far from this scene...



it says, point your finger to one of the 64 silver balls on the wall and see the effect, so we did



aqua blue beauty...



creatures underwater are wondrous...



spot any fish?



this ecosphere was sealed in 1993, yes. this is like 'our' earth. simply saying, with shits recycling by fungi



in the midst of hatching, the chick inside was still struggling..but the chick inside the egg besides it might never come out...it s sad, but the world s quite inhumane /;

happy holiday!...

a mudskipper spotted smaller than our little finger



nice weather for cycling, wish every friend can feel the 心旷神怡 we felt there



the heavenly quarry again...seems more 翡翠绿 than last time

the other side of the quarry and two soh3 poh3




spotted and taken without this 帅哥 knowing ;D



went crazy over these 3 jap guys, chasing after them. but lost them when someone couldnt cycle up the hill ;x



huge crowd crossing at bugis!!! it s really...sugoi...




好美的 xmas deco! customer attracting and creative theme. at least 50 cameras and camcorders (on hands or tripods) were takin pic of this deco at every single minute, i guess



this year orchard xmas lighting, tried to get a shoot when crossing road but went blur



sunset from west coast



lot of ppl flyin kites there...nice...



lot of ppl playing frisbee there...



红霞 fluctuating for few mins in the sky that evening, simply 美丽的



followed by 暗淡的沉没是忧郁的. moon of 初三 with venus. i been wanting to see this during exam and now coincidently i saw it (; thanks for bringing me here...






no need to go europe...no need to go canada...
so long as you re with your loved ones...go any place even school canteen also happy...

star gazing

很多年以前
当时在家里上网可是照时算的
却是少年时任性不管母亲辛苦
常在网上泡
有一个在网上认识的朋友
他喜欢看星空
我也喜欢看星空
他教我看星星
他告诉我很多天文知识
他对我说星星背后的神话与传说

他不肯见面
多年后跟他失去联络了
经过我的努力
曾联络上好几次
可他最终都又失了踪

现在身边没一个知星朋友
看到金星的喜悦
竟然没人相信 也没人在乎
甚至有个好朋友还坚持太阳不是星星

很怀念以前沉迷看星星的一段时期
深夜 一边网上打字 一边不停跑出门仰望
地平线上不论圆缺月亮的美丽
第一次认出各个星座的满足
第一次认出北斗七星的感动
第一次看见五星在空的雀跃

好想有个人在身边陪我看星星啊...

hv so much feelin to write and let out during very busy period
but very busy period meanin i cant write any
sad
between very busy period and the next very busy period meanin i can write
but no longer hv the feelin to write any
dull

my present...

as long as we have
memories
yesterday remains

as long as we have
hope
tomorrow awaits

as long as we have
love
today is beautiful

i ll reach out for my stars...

im very happy to have these...i really love them!
...and as i said i ll keep my memories in them and share with you in future...
i ll jiayou n all the best to you too... (;

look forward

不懂怎么安慰一个失落的灵魂
怎么能销去那样撕碎的痛
但想让所有伤心人 失恋人
知道
世界有多大 天空有多辽阔

你失去的 是一个不爱你的人
而他/她失去的 是一个爱他/她的人

to be forgotten

从前有个朋友, 很高很亲切很优秀很出众, 像玩笑般不可自拔地喜欢上他. 被人取笑, 她她爱他, 他他不爱她.
三年了吧?...时间总过得很让人吃惊. 高中毕业快三年了. 依旧他不理我. 那时我说: 有了女朋友一定要告诉我. 他说: 很难, 三年之内不会有的.
忽然, 他有了女朋友.
蛮心痛的…想不到会是这样的反应吧? 别人都陆续来‘通知’. 需要铁了心像没事.
禁不住看了他们的相片, 像把心扯裂了. 我看到了从没看到过的他.
有些人洒脱, 有些人却做梦一生都梦不醒. 也许有些事, 有些情节, 还是忘掉最好.

夜

天台屋顶是寂寞的
冷风是熟悉的也是无情的

reminder

just because someone doesnt love you the way you want them to, doesnt mean that they dont love you with all they have

love him for who he is, not who you want him to be

...

watched rag0506...

Although always said that I ll go help rag but didn’t really do it… /; feel bad bout it…
I squeezed to a higher shaded place to get a better view and saw all the halls presentation.
In a distance, I see Sheares float moving close to the threshold line, ppl halted there carrying stairs and stuff under the sun waiting for the stupid host that was asking for more cheers. I recalled 2 years ago when I was among them as a freshman, alert and waiting to dash out to the presentation area when given the instruction. Also, I recalled a year ago when I was among them as a ragger, alert, waiting, thinking, hoping, praying, excited, nervous, etc to dash out…well, how I wish…I was still among them now that I became a mere spectator.
It was a 5 minutes fun-filled full of cheerfulness and surprises. Perhaps the shortest I can say is, 精彩无比!...I swear to myself after seeing all other presentations, if the judges don’t think the same, their judges can just be considered void. And, wao, they really won, they won almost every shield they ought to win. And I think they have won something above those prizes, above the memories of sweat, blood, time, hardship, friendship and everything else under the sun, maybe something that I can never imagine…

失去的 已逝去

it s been 2 years plus, it s been fine, nothin serious happened before, when things re so normal ppl tend to neglect and forget...
my comp crashed...it s a sudden...it crashed like no tomorrow...it actually crashed when so many ppl have recently warned me bout the importance of backin up my stuff 'inside'...includin my prof, he said he couldnt sleep the night before as he knew that i didnt 'back up'...it just happened right after he warned me...and it happened when i happened to be most 'down' and needed it most...
it s been few days, i ran ard for saving it, laptops and desktops, friends and comp centre, they simply just added to the fact that it cannot be saved...i couldnt help my tears when the unthoughful comp centre ppl told me coldly: ...your hard disk is 'gone'.
what s gone is gone, is that true?...

gosh...

i love food...really do...drool.....

so difficult

saw this song at a friend's blog…

相爱很难

最好 有生一日都爱下去
但谁人 能将恋爱当做终生兴趣
生活 其实旨在找到个伴侣
面对现实 热恋很快变长流细水

可惜我 不智或侥幸 对火花天生敏感
不过 两只手拉得太紧
爱到过了界那对爱人
同时亦最易变成一对敌人

也许相爱很难 就难在其实双方各有各寄望怎么办
要单恋都难 受太大的礼会内疚却也无力归还
也许不爱不难 但如未成佛升仙也会怕爱情前途黯淡
爱不爱都难 未快乐先有责任给予对方 面露欢颜

得到浪漫 又要有空间 得到定局 却怕去到终站
然后付出多 得到少 不介意豁达又担心 有人看不过眼

无论热恋中失恋中都永远记住第一戒 别要张开双眼

It sounds very familiar but I don’t know where I heard it, go look for it listen to it…I felt…this is such a song…bet it s the truest song of love…agree? 总是会想起以前， 一个朋友常常说‘别太执著’...

lasting...

I wonder how a couple can be together till the end…does love sustain so much so long or just the will to persist and maintain…I wonder…I was wondering. How can a guy be with a girl when they different by so much? Their sex, their needs, their thoughts, their concerns, their priority, their dreams, …When your differences are so big almost nothing s in common, life became routine disagreement, argument and disappointment. Sometimes, things re so bad that you couldn’t think of a reason to carry on…Just one thing ll make it all, do you still have him in your mind? And does he have you...

back to rural

Went to pulau ubin last Saturday morning…it s a pedal_ubin workshop train for future ubin guides…yar… ;D actually I was just hoping to cycle ard ubin and wishing to tag along with my bf although he preferred not…well, it s bad, very bad, at first…I slept at 3+ and woke up 6+, we showered each other with anger along the long long way to ubin…luckily the natural beauty managed to stop us…
It s like what, more than 10 years haven’t been riding a bicycle I guess. I cant think of any better places for cycling, with uphill and downhill, unless you wanna try it in nus…the feeling is still with me even right now, wind splashing against me with momentum that almost lifted the bike up as I sped down the slopes…well maybe motorcyclist feel like that? I don’t know…but it s just like skating…I love skating just because the free feeling…
...and guess what, i actually have a job assignment in boonlay that afternoon. In case you guys dont know, ubin s kinda east most of sg while boonlay s at the west most...it s too late when I realised I estimated too little time for me to rush back nus for uniform and long pants. and i had to cancel the job on the mrt...hai...

on the boat to ubin...
good shot yer?...
it s one of the quarries on the island, we all felt like standing next to a paradise...
leaving...