Tuesday, May 30, 2006


I lost a 2+year relationship this semester. We actually don’t feel lost of heart, we lost our burden I think.. It was a burden struggled and dragged too long in the end such that no feelings were left. Was there any pity? No. I guess this is the most pity. To be true, I felt very lonely. I told nobody during the period. Then I met another guy, not many friends know bout it but it happened right after my exam. We never got into a relationship, but we got into intimacy.. He s an exchange student and ve now went back. Im serious although I knew that nothing is the ending. The memory left is so unreal. I felt cheap and bad.. and even more lonely.

I ve been working as waitress in Chikuyo Tei 竹葉亭 in Ngee Ann City after exam, yup, like what I ve been thinking, I wanted to work in a Japanese restaurant all the while. I like Japan and Jap food so much.. I can get close to Japanese and it s almost like living the style in Japan. The best part is to send the tray of marvelous food to the customer and see their amazement and how they enjoy the food.. Also to eat food left by customer in kitchen sneakingly ;D.. Everyday work is quite tiring, after work is just computer and drama. Just boring..

Instead of going Japan, US, Hong Kong or China, I went to Redang, finally, with a group of 7 friends.. We went snorkeling, jungle trekking, kayaking.. We woke up 6+am jz to watch sunrise-less sky. It was jz opening eyes to see, open mind to play, open mouth to eat, open all senses to feel, plain relax. I wish I could record down the feelings there when I was in the water. It was really fun and memorable to me, but the group of friends is abit boring, everyday just sleep one.. bleh~ got to know some new friends and some friendly ppl working there. The feeling of knowing new friends in a vacation is different, it s jz like drama..

Back to work
I started work the night after coming back from Redang, and checked exam results as well.. Everything jz back to reality. I hate it.. What I hate more is, I have to soon stop my restaurant work, and focus on my project work in lab.. ); it is by the order of my prof.. He wants me to fully concentrate on my studies and proj. I still don’t have the mind of putting all my effort and making this proj a success. I wonder how am I going to survive this whole year proj..


Anonymous Anonymous said...

I should not have read ur posting...cuz i'm going to meet my professor later. but somehow i read it...shit

after reading ur posting , i lost all my mood. my whole body trembles...my whole body trembles...my hands tremble..I dunno whether it's due to anger or fear... wat i fear has happened. I 'd been guessing wat did u mean by the so called "amazing feelings". you have finally disclosed it...not to me but to the public. does it mean i really meant nothing to you? yes. i think. I m the most stupid and naive short ugly guy..hahahahaha

i am a fly which keeps pestering around you.

i'm totally broken into pieces

i want to jog..i want to run...i need to be awaken. my mind has been turned upside down.

now my hands still tremble, my heart beats violently...am i angry? no...i felt very sad. damn sad. i feel like nothing.i wan to scream. someone plz awakes me. i feel like to puke, disgusted by my own behaviour.

i am half dead.

1:42 PM  
Blogger lerlind said...

my feelings re not so cheap like how you say it..
my blog is meant for good friends who read cause they care, re you?
i am not shit jz a girl with feelings needs protection and caring

4:21 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

i couldnt believe it has been almost 10 yrs. Our lives have changed totally. We have grown up, the reality may have taken our dreams away.

I am surprised that your blog is still here. I doubt you will ever read my comment.

You are my best friend during Uni days. I hope you will forgive me

Human beings tend to forget, but some memories stay forever.

22 may 2015.

3:25 PM  

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