Saturday, April 30, 2005

a nice dinner

yesterday i bought some materials from IMM, wanna cook something all by myself, wanna reward my dear, he still having his last paper on tues...well, 5.40pm i went back hall and prepare so that...hopefully we can have dinner at 6.30 or at most 7.00 like that...
i just started to prepare only, my dear kept msg me like 'how?' 'done?' when i have no time and hands to reply...in the end he came back himself...in the end he did most of the cooking work and still have his claim that all my attempts in kitchen for him is actually done by him... );
by the way the dinner and cleaning ended at 8.30...

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

im free la...

well, what an afternoon of after exam, slacky and comfy...i sent 3 resume for job applications, wrote 5 testimonials for friends... ;D

here s the recap
i tentatively finished my report in only 2 days (a weekend), got so many things not sure of and dont understand...kept emailing the them to ask but nobody replied me...this nightmare didnt end till the last day when report due, the prof and project in charge kept telling us stupid info which i didnt know...in the end i handed up a unsatisfied and bo3chap4 report...
i spent 2.5 days on memorizing my metabolism lectures, it s okay, instinctively, short answer questions re very weird one, you might know the answer but you just cant expressed comprehensively well enough...and when you re pressed, everything can just be written out as rubbish...
1.5 days flipping through the 4cm thick bioinformatics notes...wah...it was such a relief, i dont care how bad i did...i ll never never never ever take another module which has any single stupid relationship with computer...i always hate this module cause im just a normal person 'studyin' bioscience...i dont know computer!! im stupid not the computer...
then another 2.5 days unefficiently on my neurobio...and this really sucks, i knew it even when i was studyin for it, dont understand...cant get the idea, cant grasp the concept, cant predict the questions, even can also cant produce the answer...sucks!...sucked!...year 3 modules are all like that?? then i cam4 liao...
it s really been a really terrible exam period...well, guess the one who suffered is not only me but my bf...cause he s my only way of venting...but now it s over i ll treat him nice nice (;

the end

6 questions, tough...brain stuck, didnt have enough sleep, cant think well, a stupid crazy person nearby kept making a stupid noise (approx every 10 seconds) from his/her stupid nose...i was struggling...writing nonsense...cant finish...half an hour to the end of this paper...i was thinkin...im 30 minutes to freedom!!!!!...that was my last paper for this semester.
now im in lib, again ;D aft a fulfilling zha2 jiang4 mian4 from bizad 'beijing feng1 wei4'...

Thursday, April 14, 2005

my group mates


my group mates (;
from right: jyhhaur, thomas, me, saynam, jinyin ('newcomer'), tanboon, siti, and eewei. the left most is our dread...nolah dear prof la ;D but my lab partner hongee is not ard. yanming and jeurnesse re also not ard...
gotta thanks all of them for this great memory of lsm2202 practical sessions and miniproject...wish them all the best in the exam!

my lab log

We started to carry out a mini project worth 30% of an experimental module, ‘experimental molecular and cell biology’…It has been quite slack and draggy first week, as we do a lot of overnight incubation and stuff like that, where we need to come back next time to continue…Well, as the real thing comes, everything seems to fall apart…we squeeze on benches, being poked by pipette tips, run around to get our stuff…as we re the unlucky group sharing lab with another group…
I remember when the first time the lab was crowded, we have little time left as the lab was closing soon, everybody was rushing to finish their own job…well, that day most of us were doin a part where we need to handle five eppendorf tubes at a time…I was so fast that I splashed bacteria culture right on my own face (ya…) when capping a tube, splashed my DNA solution when trying to turn around, even actually poured off my toughly done solution (I straight away have cold sweat as I realize I did something…hai…)… We even redo things because of stupid reasons (don’t wanna talk bout alr…) and whole day in lab was wasted…
After we realized this project is so knotty, we became ji2 zao4 and always in the mood of fucking pek4 cek3…we went to the lab almost everyday, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursday, and Fridays, skipped other classes and so on…it was so time consuming…in the end they even open for us on Monday…once, as I opened the centrifuge and found my solution have totally no pellet at all, that moment really feel like…collapsing right away and give up, had enough, give up that stupid module, a 6MC module…that kind of feeling…still remember again and again how group mates discussing saying things like ‘concentration too low’…‘then zen3 me1 ban4?’...‘chong2 zuo4!?’...‘mei2 you3 band…’... ai1 sheng1 tan4 qi4, cui2 tou2 sang4 qi4…kinda of things…how my partner almost crying out but still saying her words in strong…
I actually gave up the passion quite early...one of my friends actually wanted to use one of my digestion samples as she hasn’t got enough. She was so hasten that she accidently caused all my 4 solution plus another 2 solutions of my group mate spilt (ya, all gone) in the ‘Speedvac’ machine…if this were to happen earlier I might have cried, go mad or fainted right away. Well, but I didn’t, the uncomfortable feeling just stuck inside the heart…In fact as the last week approaches, the professor also seems to be giving up and letting us go through shortcuts…
Yesterday I went to do my extract my plasmid after test, the last few steps. My group mates were doing the last step, DNA sequencing preparation...we went ard taking photos, jokes and laughters…well, all the while working with this bunch of ppl have been the most easing thing (;
…actually when I think back calmly, it was such an experience where we only get to learn when mistakes and problems cropped up and stop us, you may know that but it is really not something you can see here or listen in words…you just got to go through it…
hm…maybe what we re in is just dealing with things we cannot see cannot touch maybe can feel…it s just world of unknown, groping…maybe that s what an experiment mean…you have to experiment it…hai…

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

happy ending

im so happy today
after my music test i rushed to my lab, havent been there for 2 days as i ve been having tests and dues...im lagged behind...
but i was happy... (; that was the...kinda last lab alr (i ll FINISH it tomorrow!)...i ll put up my lab log soon...

simple world happy world

i remember there was once when im unhappy with my bf...i happened to see a noticeboard with big words saying 'nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happie!'...just a right timing to be encouraged by such simple theory right?...

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

i will survive...

30% lab module test tomorrow morning (which i alr lost 15% in the first test),
fuckin 30% bioinformatics project due next mon (and i ve not yet started any writin...),
20% metabolism test next tues,
20% sci of music test next wed (not yet touch a single thing, slept or readin other things in lectures...),
25% music essay due that aftnoon,
25% MIDI piece due next fri...

alright, of course these are nothin...but the most damn thing now is my open lab we go 5 days per week (average 4 hours a time, at most 7 hours), we re in fuckin down mood (you know...do experiment needs patience, patience=time, and that s what we do NOT have now...). what even worse is we know that other two groups taking this fuckin fuckin SAME module does not need to spend that amount of effort...and this fuckin 30% final report due next next thurs...

55% fucking bioinfomatics final next next fri,
60% metabolism final next next sat,
60% neurobio final next next next tues (another 10% self-direct learning, wonder if the fuckin lecturer is goin to give us the fuckin topic or not)...
...and that s all! im done for this semester...never have a chance to finish so early ever since i came here...
i ve never been this stressed and depressed...i even cried out in front of our prof in charge and group mates...n my bf dont care bout it...

...well, anyway...i wonder this kind of life is goin to train us for what...

Sunday, April 03, 2005

yearn for befallen of my eye in the sky

sometimes...hm...ever feel like wish you can just save your tears so that ppl can tell your sorrow?...i wish everybody...anybody s just like another me, that he/she knows me so well, that i dont need to say a word, and he/she understands...knows how i feel, knows what i want, knows what i care bout, knows how to make me happy...well, sounds like that person is none other than myself, it s such a bad thing to say that i cant even make myself happy...