lerlind

meant to be..

2008-01-21T00:03:00.000+08:00

Dedicated to my dear friends

2006-10-08T18:40:00.000+08:00

Dedicated to my dear friends, thank you for being there… I love you all…

gy “I wanna you know you wake up I’ll be by your side” “gambarimashou” “saa..”

you “在嗎？” “你不能去愛對方就很無奈吧” “你也快去睡覺好嗎”

rn “你还好吗？” “你真的还好吗?”

wp “。。要保护你。。”“你是个好女孩，你是有价值的，不能。。” “不要哭嘞”

xn “dinner? I cook noodle..” “不知道。。跟着感觉走？”

wk “戴眼識人”

hx “你喜欢的这个人，是怎么样的人？”

B “dun cry…” “ur not my fren... u r BEYOND that!”

sj “。。单靠感觉是走不远的” “dun cry la…” “..i hug you la”

yj “wad happened” “better already?”

ks “follow your heart”

zd “你要多少？” “行”

nii “jinsei ni kouiu hi mo aru sa”

m “i miss you too! love, Nie” “always remember im at ur side”

hf “miss u too!”

recently

2006-05-30T06:50:00.000+08:00

Relationship
I lost a 2+year relationship this semester. We actually don’t feel lost of heart, we lost our burden I think.. It was a burden struggled and dragged too long in the end such that no feelings were left. Was there any pity? No. I guess this is the most pity. To be true, I felt very lonely. I told nobody during the period. Then I met another guy, not many friends know bout it but it happened right after my exam. We never got into a relationship, but we got into intimacy.. He s an exchange student and ve now went back. Im serious although I knew that nothing is the ending. The memory left is so unreal. I felt cheap and bad.. and even more lonely.

Work
I ve been working as waitress in Chikuyo Tei 竹葉亭 in Ngee Ann City after exam, yup, like what I ve been thinking, I wanted to work in a Japanese restaurant all the while. I like Japan and Jap food so much.. I can get close to Japanese and it s almost like living the style in Japan. The best part is to send the tray of marvelous food to the customer and see their amazement and how they enjoy the food.. Also to eat food left by customer in kitchen sneakingly ;D.. Everyday work is quite tiring, after work is just computer and drama. Just boring..

Play
Instead of going Japan, US, Hong Kong or China, I went to Redang, finally, with a group of 7 friends.. We went snorkeling, jungle trekking, kayaking.. We woke up 6+am jz to watch sunrise-less sky. It was jz opening eyes to see, open mind to play, open mouth to eat, open all senses to feel, plain relax. I wish I could record down the feelings there when I was in the water. It was really fun and memorable to me, but the group of friends is abit boring, everyday just sleep one.. bleh~ got to know some new friends and some friendly ppl working there. The feeling of knowing new friends in a vacation is different, it s jz like drama..

Back to work
I started work the night after coming back from Redang, and checked exam results as well.. Everything jz back to reality. I hate it.. What I hate more is, I have to soon stop my restaurant work, and focus on my project work in lab.. ); it is by the order of my prof.. He wants me to fully concentrate on my studies and proj. I still don’t have the mind of putting all my effort and making this proj a success. I wonder how am I going to survive this whole year proj..

msn

2006-04-23T16:57:00.000+08:00

opening the msn chatting history can be interesting. you rank the history files by size. so the person who chatted with you the most is on top..the interesting part is the result, it shows your level of relationship with that friend, you might wonder 'har..?'
although my comp crashed 3 times such that this is not accurate. although some of your best friends may not be msn-contactable. although some ranked high may not be your best friend. although some of you may not be reading my blog, here you go:
1. casablancao
2. siaogao
3. jb_koala
4. ynotz
5. shixiang
6. lailaizhang
7. betiau
8. mr_kool
9. mr_hatashi
10. spastkid

no 1 the only girl. ppl dont get too close with lone rangers cause they re too protective of themselves and sometimes ended up hurting ppl ard them. but well, im lone ranger too so im ok haaha..
no 2, he s tall, teasing yet attentive, another one who call me xiaomeimei. jz like the one long time ago, whom i wouldnt wan to forget.
no 3 niichan~ he preferred i call him niisan cause it suits his 'image' but i think this one suits him instead..he ranked high not because we chat a lot but because he always pop in with 'WOI' 'got enuf drink water anot'
no 4 is perhaps the only friend i have beside me for so long..
no 5 i hope he quickly find a girl he likes then come back and be my friend damn it!
no 6 was the one i chatted with most often, but it s archived away many times to other log file that it s now ranked 6th. but, it ll never catch up anymore..

world outside

2006-04-20T23:19:00.000+08:00

i wan to go japan
i wan to go japan so much..
i know if you have a dream you have to chase hard for it..
i must take jptl test but too bad next test is december and results ll only be out on feb next year!
i realize the importance of international recognization too late
i wonder if i still have any chances to go japan through sch program..

and i still got so many places

i wan to go america..

i wan to go hong kong..

i wan to have chance to explore new world

i always very grateful i have eyes to see..

silly girl

2006-04-15T02:18:00.000+08:00

你已经省了很多
你不需要這么做
你這样唯一最难过的是供你的妈妈
你委屈夠了要自己照顾自己

你不需要难过
你一定可以找到懂你的人
你一定可以找到愿意疼惜保护你的人
你一定有人爱

你一个人肯定沒问题
你可以交到新朋友
你可以跳出自己跳出过去找到新生活
你可以找到真正属于你的天空你的星星

你哭吧
你喊啦！
好啦喊完继续好好过

ある晩

2006-03-30T20:22:00.000+08:00

one night, lonely quiet in my room,
suddenly wind blows, uu.. breeze makes me feel good
then i smell something very nice 好香好香
i recognized that 味道, someone is frying eggs!!
(although very weird someone cooking at that time, it s jz very late i know)
jz nice i wan to eat eggs!!.. i can feel my saliva rush out and fill my mouth
驀然
i recalled something.. 敗！！！！！
i flew to my pantry
the 好香 is actually 嗆鼻個焦味
cooked egg yolk splattered on floor, and dry smoke rising from.. my 鍋..!!
so it was me! who was cooking 全熟蛋 mayb dont know how many hours ago, ..
arrr.. so bad so smelly~
i opened the fan to cyclone speed

and whole floor was crawlin with those very very fast 黑螞蟻 (this stupid pantry) for those yolk..
i cry out loud and step here and there, got to splash water on them to clean that big mess..

<-- it s so funny i had to keep it ahaha..

**this sem i ve been sleepin very early, 不到日出不甘睡, until very very bright..
this is abnormal, it s term time now! but i still cant control myself, arrrg..
hopefully this sem wont be affected by this..
im still fine i think except for late and almost absence..

new life!

2006-02-04T13:50:00.000+08:00

i cant believe im doin it
today, till now have been incredibly amazing for me...

i finally managed to get myself on bed at 5.15am
i opened eyes wide at 8.01am
ya im late and let ppl wait );
mayb my qian3yi4shi2 thought their calling was the long useless hp alarm clock

yo
on the walk way to bball court
saw orange ppl
re they from sheares? i yearn..
we played bball, i finally got to play aft so long longing
i played suck la
but was fun!
but was hot im getting dizzy..
cant take anymore i shout stop with sore throat
we sat under shade watchin eusoff vs temasek female bball game
really giddy and head heavy but still ok
by the time we leave
it s 9.30am i think

had breakfast
and chatted wif a hidden bball gao1shou3
when goin back room
it was 10.50am i think

went back room
greeted other cluster mates brushing
ha...incredible!
im back from exercise and long breakfast and they jz got up!
oh im mighty...

more weird!
i packed all clothes for laundry!
1st time of the sem
1st use of pgp washing machine

(rain pours)

and i actually washed my labcoat!!...
oh my god!
what s happened to me!?

it was raining mao2mao2 after i hanged all clothes
standing in the breeze
kimochi ii...~

and a few episods of my fav anime 'sakura kaado kapputaa' jz done dling!
jz nice my chorus re through
can sit back relax and watch

so i feel good!
so i decided to write new blog
so im meetin someone for lunch now...
so hopefully the rest of the day ll b as beatiful
as well as all other days

mood can b so easily floated with happy peach blossom
i neednt always close myself and too relying to someone

(;

荒芜

2006-01-17T23:59:00.000+08:00

我以为我会哭
但是我没有...

我只是怔怔望着你的脚步
给你我最后的祝福
这何尝不是一种领悟
让我把自己看清楚

虽然那共爱的痛苦
将日日夜夜在我灵魂最深处

我以为我会报复
但是我没有

当我看到我深爱过的男人
竟然像孩子一样无助
这何尝不是一种领悟
让你把自己看清楚

被爱是奢侈的幸福
可惜你从来不在乎

**只有体会过才懂这首歌能有多痛
只可惜一切没有那么容易**

2006-01-02T04:19:00.000+08:00

merry christmas!...

2005-12-17T14:23:00.000+08:00

it s festive mood~
...well you gotta see these you own cause my captures cant tell how beautiful they are...

xmas at citylink

xmas at suntec, simple, nice and diff from others, especially from the stupid CS one

xmas in front of suntec, very nice, jz that didnt capture nicely );

largest fountain in the world

asia at esplanade

we managed to hop onto a parading helicopter

bridge over sg river with merlion spitting water

famous durian on the bay

science should be fun

2005-12-17T05:12:00.000+08:00

what s the trick?..

it s video cam shooting from very far from this scene...

it says, point your finger to one of the 64 silver balls on the wall and see the effect, so we did

aqua blue beauty...

creatures underwater are wondrous...

spot any fish?

this ecosphere was sealed in 1993, yes. this is like 'our' earth. simply saying, with shits recycling by fungi

in the midst of hatching, the chick inside was still struggling..but the chick inside the egg besides it might never come out...it s sad, but the world s quite inhumane /;

happy holiday!...

2005-12-07T15:50:00.000+08:00

a mudskipper spotted smaller than our little finger

nice weather for cycling, wish every friend can feel the 心旷神怡 we felt there

the heavenly quarry again...seems more 翡翠绿 than last time

the other side of the quarry and two soh3 poh3

spotted and taken without this 帅哥 knowing ;D

went crazy over these 3 jap guys, chasing after them. but lost them when someone couldnt cycle up the hill ;x

huge crowd crossing at bugis!!! it s really...sugoi...

好美的 xmas deco! customer attracting and creative theme. at least 50 cameras and camcorders (on hands or tripods) were takin pic of this deco at every single minute, i guess

this year orchard xmas lighting, tried to get a shoot when crossing road but went blur

sunset from west coast

lot of ppl flyin kites there...nice...

lot of ppl playing frisbee there...

红霞 fluctuating for few mins in the sky that evening, simply 美丽的

 followed by 暗淡的沉没是忧郁的. moon of 初三 with venus. i been wanting to see this during exam and now coincidently i saw it (; thanks for bringing me here...

no need to go europe...no need to go canada...
so long as you re with your loved ones...go any place even school canteen also happy...

star gazing

2005-11-23T14:02:00.000+08:00

很多年以前
当时在家里上网可是照时算的
却是少年时任性不管母亲辛苦
常在网上泡
有一个在网上认识的朋友
他喜欢看星空
我也喜欢看星空
他教我看星星
他告诉我很多天文知识
他对我说星星背后的神话与传说

他不肯见面
多年后跟他失去联络了
经过我的努力
曾联络上好几次
可他最终都又失了踪

现在身边没一个知星朋友
看到金星的喜悦
竟然没人相信也没人在乎
甚至有个好朋友还坚持太阳不是星星

很怀念以前沉迷看星星的一段时期
深夜一边网上打字一边不停跑出门仰望
地平线上不论圆缺月亮的美丽
第一次认出各个星座的满足
第一次认出北斗七星的感动
第一次看见五星在空的雀跃

好想有个人在身边陪我看星星啊...

2005-11-04T15:59:00.000+08:00

hv so much feelin to write and let out during very busy period
but very busy period meanin i cant write any
sad
between very busy period and the next very busy period meanin i can write
but no longer hv the feelin to write any
dull

my present...

2005-11-01T02:57:00.000+08:00

as long as we have
memories
yesterday remains

as long as we have
hope
tomorrow awaits

as long as we have
love
today is beautiful

i ll reach out for my stars...

im very happy to have these...i really love them!
...and as i said i ll keep my memories in them and share with you in future...
i ll jiayou n all the best to you too... (;

look forward

2005-10-25T05:40:00.000+08:00

不懂怎么安慰一个失落的灵魂
怎么能销去那样撕碎的痛
但想让所有伤心人失恋人
知道
世界有多大天空有多辽阔

你失去的是一个不爱你的人
而他/她失去的是一个爱他/她的人

to be forgotten

2005-09-11T02:05:00.000+08:00

从前有个朋友, 很高很亲切很优秀很出众, 像玩笑般不可自拔地喜欢上他. 被人取笑, 她她爱他, 他他不爱她.
三年了吧?...时间总过得很让人吃惊. 高中毕业快三年了. 依旧他不理我. 那时我说: 有了女朋友一定要告诉我. 他说: 很难, 三年之内不会有的.
忽然, 他有了女朋友.
蛮心痛的…想不到会是这样的反应吧? 别人都陆续来‘通知’. 需要铁了心像没事.
禁不住看了他们的相片, 像把心扯裂了. 我看到了从没看到过的他.
有些人洒脱, 有些人却做梦一生都梦不醒. 也许有些事, 有些情节, 还是忘掉最好.

夜

2005-08-22T23:31:00.000+08:00

天台屋顶是寂寞的
冷风是熟悉的也是无情的

reminder

2005-08-22T22:55:00.000+08:00

just because someone doesnt love you the way you want them to, doesnt mean that they dont love you with all they have

love him for who he is, not who you want him to be

...

watched rag0506...

2005-08-06T16:35:00.000+08:00

Although always said that I ll go help rag but didn’t really do it… /; feel bad bout it…
I squeezed to a higher shaded place to get a better view and saw all the halls presentation.
In a distance, I see Sheares float moving close to the threshold line, ppl halted there carrying stairs and stuff under the sun waiting for the stupid host that was asking for more cheers. I recalled 2 years ago when I was among them as a freshman, alert and waiting to dash out to the presentation area when given the instruction. Also, I recalled a year ago when I was among them as a ragger, alert, waiting, thinking, hoping, praying, excited, nervous, etc to dash out…well, how I wish…I was still among them now that I became a mere spectator.
It was a 5 minutes fun-filled full of cheerfulness and surprises. Perhaps the shortest I can say is, 精彩无比!...I swear to myself after seeing all other presentations, if the judges don’t think the same, their judges can just be considered void. And, wao, they really won, they won almost every shield they ought to win. And I think they have won something above those prizes, above the memories of sweat, blood, time, hardship, friendship and everything else under the sun, maybe something that I can never imagine…

失去的已逝去

2005-07-29T01:00:00.000+08:00

it s been 2 years plus, it s been fine, nothin serious happened before, when things re so normal ppl tend to neglect and forget...
my comp crashed...it s a sudden...it crashed like no tomorrow...it actually crashed when so many ppl have recently warned me bout the importance of backin up my stuff 'inside'...includin my prof, he said he couldnt sleep the night before as he knew that i didnt 'back up'...it just happened right after he warned me...and it happened when i happened to be most 'down' and needed it most...
it s been few days, i ran ard for saving it, laptops and desktops, friends and comp centre, they simply just added to the fact that it cannot be saved...i couldnt help my tears when the unthoughful comp centre ppl told me coldly: ...your hard disk is 'gone'.
what s gone is gone, is that true?...

gosh...

2005-06-27T23:57:00.000+08:00

i love food...really do...drool.....

so difficult

2005-06-27T21:58:00.000+08:00

saw this song at a friend's blog…

相爱很难

最好有生一日都爱下去
但谁人能将恋爱当做终生兴趣
生活其实旨在找到个伴侣
面对现实热恋很快变长流细水

可惜我不智或侥幸对火花天生敏感
不过两只手拉得太紧
爱到过了界那对爱人
同时亦最易变成一对敌人

也许相爱很难就难在其实双方各有各寄望怎么办
要单恋都难受太大的礼会内疚却也无力归还
也许不爱不难但如未成佛升仙也会怕爱情前途黯淡
爱不爱都难未快乐先有责任给予对方面露欢颜

得到浪漫又要有空间得到定局却怕去到终站
然后付出多得到少不介意豁达又担心有人看不过眼

无论热恋中失恋中都永远记住第一戒别要张开双眼

It sounds very familiar but I don’t know where I heard it, go look for it listen to it…I felt…this is such a song…bet it s the truest song of love…agree? 总是会想起以前，一个朋友常常说‘别太执著’...

lasting...

2005-06-15T22:55:00.000+08:00

I wonder how a couple can be together till the end…does love sustain so much so long or just the will to persist and maintain…I wonder…I was wondering. How can a guy be with a girl when they different by so much? Their sex, their needs, their thoughts, their concerns, their priority, their dreams, …When your differences are so big almost nothing s in common, life became routine disagreement, argument and disappointment. Sometimes, things re so bad that you couldn’t think of a reason to carry on…Just one thing ll make it all, do you still have him in your mind? And does he have you...

back to rural

2005-05-24T17:47:00.000+08:00

Went to pulau ubin last Saturday morning…it s a pedal_ubin workshop train for future ubin guides…yar… ;D actually I was just hoping to cycle ard ubin and wishing to tag along with my bf although he preferred not…well, it s bad, very bad, at first…I slept at 3+ and woke up 6+, we showered each other with anger along the long long way to ubin…luckily the natural beauty managed to stop us…
It s like what, more than 10 years haven’t been riding a bicycle I guess. I cant think of any better places for cycling, with uphill and downhill, unless you wanna try it in nus…the feeling is still with me even right now, wind splashing against me with momentum that almost lifted the bike up as I sped down the slopes…well maybe motorcyclist feel like that? I don’t know…but it s just like skating…I love skating just because the free feeling…
...and guess what, i actually have a job assignment in boonlay that afternoon. In case you guys dont know, ubin s kinda east most of sg while boonlay s at the west most...it s too late when I realised I estimated too little time for me to rush back nus for uniform and long pants. and i had to cancel the job on the mrt...hai...

on the boat to ubin...
good shot yer?...
it s one of the quarries on the island, we all felt like standing next to a paradise...
leaving...

tamade

2005-05-14T16:35:00.000+08:00

Gosh it s so many days after my last paper, now im still sitting here don’t know what to do!...geeezzzz!!...couldnt get a job after so many emails and calls, hate this!!...don’t know how to start my urops, having all papers and stuff in front of me everyday but I hardly read even one page per day…arh……hate all these……what am i doing here!!?.....

rainbow in our minds

2005-05-13T18:11:00.000+08:00

believe you guys must have noticed and moved by this excellent ad...those ppl who made this ad possible must be very proud of it...
i always wanted to download the song or something until now that i took my action, i realised how many ppl out there in this world had the same impact from it...
i think cant paste things not my rights, but here's the link where you can download it there...

Red and Yellow and Pink and Green

Purple and Orange and Blue

I can sing a rainbow

Sing a rainbow

Sing a rainbow too

Listen with your eyes

Listen with you ears

And sing everything you see

I can sing a rainbow

Sing a rainbow

Sing along with me...

sore throat trip

2005-05-12T15:01:00.000+08:00

tot that we wont be able to go anywhere this holiday, as we never really start really plan well. Well, suddenly a friend called up and suddenly we re on our way for the first ever real travel with my bf. Went kl for 3 days…was supposed to do some catch up with this long time no good talk friend, well, ended up she stickin with her bf, I with my bf…they went separate way to penang after the first day (; it was really a great trip…
We stayed in cheap hotels…went ard the city, lrt, buses, walking most of the time, find our way to destinations, cause I don’t wanna spend money on taxi...
...was sick even before goin kl, walked two hours with luggages couldnt find our hotel, caught in rain under a tiny shelter in front of a fairy godness, BakKutTeh with nice tofu and crispy YouTiao, early morning eat cheap hotel breakfast with nice half boiled eggs, went klcc but too late didnt get up to the 40+th floor bridge, great lamb chop and choking tomyam in Secret, all the way to sunway just to skate for 3 hours, squeezed in Ju3Qiong2Gai1, enjoy satay and carrot juice beside busy road and dirty 'longkang', got discount on entering bird park as the receptionist know we took bus and walked all the way there, laughin through first half of the way back when somebody trying to learn and pronounce all the malay words he noticed......i wonder if he can still recall 1-10 in malay or not...
How tired also with him…

photo memories...

kl might be messy but we still enjoy over there...
an underpass, a foreign guy singing nice song accompanied by guitar melody...made me feel so good...
chased by this bunch of...goose we supposed...in kl bird park, especially the black very fierce...
nice shot by my friend hor...
wanna go down and play!...too bad we didnt...

a nice dinner

2005-04-30T21:12:00.000+08:00

yesterday i bought some materials from IMM, wanna cook something all by myself, wanna reward my dear, he still having his last paper on tues...well, 5.40pm i went back hall and prepare so that...hopefully we can have dinner at 6.30 or at most 7.00 like that...
i just started to prepare only, my dear kept msg me like 'how?' 'done?' when i have no time and hands to reply...in the end he came back himself...in the end he did most of the cooking work and still have his claim that all my attempts in kitchen for him is actually done by him... );
by the way the dinner and cleaning ended at 8.30...

im free la...

2005-04-26T15:48:00.000+08:00

well, what an afternoon of after exam, slacky and comfy...i sent 3 resume for job applications, wrote 5 testimonials for friends... ;D

here s the recap
i tentatively finished my report in only 2 days (a weekend), got so many things not sure of and dont understand...kept emailing the them to ask but nobody replied me...this nightmare didnt end till the last day when report due, the prof and project in charge kept telling us stupid info which i didnt know...in the end i handed up a unsatisfied and bo3chap4 report...
i spent 2.5 days on memorizing my metabolism lectures, it s okay, instinctively, short answer questions re very weird one, you might know the answer but you just cant expressed comprehensively well enough...and when you re pressed, everything can just be written out as rubbish...
1.5 days flipping through the 4cm thick bioinformatics notes...wah...it was such a relief, i dont care how bad i did...i ll never never never ever take another module which has any single stupid relationship with computer...i always hate this module cause im just a normal person 'studyin' bioscience...i dont know computer!! im stupid not the computer...
then another 2.5 days unefficiently on my neurobio...and this really sucks, i knew it even when i was studyin for it, dont understand...cant get the idea, cant grasp the concept, cant predict the questions, even can also cant produce the answer...sucks!...sucked!...year 3 modules are all like that?? then i cam4 liao...
it s really been a really terrible exam period...well, guess the one who suffered is not only me but my bf...cause he s my only way of venting...but now it s over i ll treat him nice nice (;

the end

2005-04-26T12:59:00.001+08:00

6 questions, tough...brain stuck, didnt have enough sleep, cant think well, a stupid crazy person nearby kept making a stupid noise (approx every 10 seconds) from his/her stupid nose...i was struggling...writing nonsense...cant finish...half an hour to the end of this paper...i was thinkin...im 30 minutes to freedom!!!!!...that was my last paper for this semester.
now im in lib, again ;D aft a fulfilling zha2 jiang4 mian4 from bizad 'beijing feng1 wei4'...

my group mates

2005-04-14T17:01:00.000+08:00

my group mates (;
from right: jyhhaur, thomas, me, saynam, jinyin ('newcomer'), tanboon, siti, and eewei. the left most is our dread...nolah dear prof la ;D but my lab partner hongee is not ard. yanming and jeurnesse re also not ard...
gotta thanks all of them for this great memory of lsm2202 practical sessions and miniproject...wish them all the best in the exam!

my lab log

2005-04-14T16:26:00.000+08:00

We started to carry out a mini project worth 30% of an experimental module, ‘experimental molecular and cell biology’…It has been quite slack and draggy first week, as we do a lot of overnight incubation and stuff like that, where we need to come back next time to continue…Well, as the real thing comes, everything seems to fall apart…we squeeze on benches, being poked by pipette tips, run around to get our stuff…as we re the unlucky group sharing lab with another group…
I remember when the first time the lab was crowded, we have little time left as the lab was closing soon, everybody was rushing to finish their own job…well, that day most of us were doin a part where we need to handle five eppendorf tubes at a time…I was so fast that I splashed bacteria culture right on my own face (ya…) when capping a tube, splashed my DNA solution when trying to turn around, even actually poured off my toughly done solution (I straight away have cold sweat as I realize I did something…hai…)… We even redo things because of stupid reasons (don’t wanna talk bout alr…) and whole day in lab was wasted…
After we realized this project is so knotty, we became ji2 zao4 and always in the mood of fucking pek4 cek3…we went to the lab almost everyday, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursday, and Fridays, skipped other classes and so on…it was so time consuming…in the end they even open for us on Monday…once, as I opened the centrifuge and found my solution have totally no pellet at all, that moment really feel like…collapsing right away and give up, had enough, give up that stupid module, a 6MC module…that kind of feeling…still remember again and again how group mates discussing saying things like ‘concentration too low’…‘then zen3 me1 ban4?’...‘chong2 zuo4!?’...‘mei2 you3 band…’... ai1 sheng1 tan4 qi4, cui2 tou2 sang4 qi4…kinda of things…how my partner almost crying out but still saying her words in strong…
I actually gave up the passion quite early...one of my friends actually wanted to use one of my digestion samples as she hasn’t got enough. She was so hasten that she accidently caused all my 4 solution plus another 2 solutions of my group mate spilt (ya, all gone) in the ‘Speedvac’ machine…if this were to happen earlier I might have cried, go mad or fainted right away. Well, but I didn’t, the uncomfortable feeling just stuck inside the heart…In fact as the last week approaches, the professor also seems to be giving up and letting us go through shortcuts…
Yesterday I went to do my extract my plasmid after test, the last few steps. My group mates were doing the last step, DNA sequencing preparation...we went ard taking photos, jokes and laughters…well, all the while working with this bunch of ppl have been the most easing thing (;
…actually when I think back calmly, it was such an experience where we only get to learn when mistakes and problems cropped up and stop us, you may know that but it is really not something you can see here or listen in words…you just got to go through it…
hm…maybe what we re in is just dealing with things we cannot see cannot touch maybe can feel…it s just world of unknown, groping…maybe that s what an experiment mean…you have to experiment it…hai…

happy ending

2005-04-13T20:02:00.000+08:00

im so happy today
after my music test i rushed to my lab, havent been there for 2 days as i ve been having tests and dues...im lagged behind...
but i was happy... (; that was the...kinda last lab alr (i ll FINISH it tomorrow!)...i ll put up my lab log soon...

simple world happy world

2005-04-13T19:40:00.000+08:00

i remember there was once when im unhappy with my bf...i happened to see a noticeboard with big words saying 'nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happie!'...just a right timing to be encouraged by such simple theory right?...

i will survive...

2005-04-05T15:52:00.000+08:00

30% lab module test tomorrow morning (which i alr lost 15% in the first test),
fuckin 30% bioinformatics project due next mon (and i ve not yet started any writin...),
20% metabolism test next tues,
20% sci of music test next wed (not yet touch a single thing, slept or readin other things in lectures...),
25% music essay due that aftnoon,
25% MIDI piece due next fri...

alright, of course these are nothin...but the most damn thing now is my open lab we go 5 days per week (average 4 hours a time, at most 7 hours), we re in fuckin down mood (you know...do experiment needs patience, patience=time, and that s what we do NOT have now...). what even worse is we know that other two groups taking this fuckin fuckin SAME module does not need to spend that amount of effort...and this fuckin 30% final report due next next thurs...

55% fucking bioinfomatics final next next fri,
60% metabolism final next next sat,
60% neurobio final next next next tues (another 10% self-direct learning, wonder if the fuckin lecturer is goin to give us the fuckin topic or not)...
...and that s all! im done for this semester...never have a chance to finish so early ever since i came here...
i ve never been this stressed and depressed...i even cried out in front of our prof in charge and group mates...n my bf dont care bout it...

...well, anyway...i wonder this kind of life is goin to train us for what...

yearn for befallen of my eye in the sky

2005-04-03T12:24:00.000+08:00

sometimes...hm...ever feel like wish you can just save your tears so that ppl can tell your sorrow?...i wish everybody...anybody s just like another me, that he/she knows me so well, that i dont need to say a word, and he/she understands...knows how i feel, knows what i want, knows what i care bout, knows how to make me happy...well, sounds like that person is none other than myself, it s such a bad thing to say that i cant even make myself happy...

pillar of truelove

2005-03-29T16:34:00.000+08:00

http://goldfisch.blogspot.com/2005/03/would-you-pick-flower-for-me.html
this links to an article posted by my friend, she s a very sweet and caring girl. i wish her forever happiness...well, i was influenced by her by creating this blog...
i cried when i read it...i was thinking of my bf who was sleepin on the bed...i showed him this article some time later and said, 'maybe you re not even like the husband?' he gave me a usual 'couldnt help' face...

quake us

2005-03-29T10:10:00.000+08:00

i was totally disconnected with tv, radios, and most of the entertainment stuff ever since the year i had STPM...i didnt get this news myself but from others' msn nicks..another earth quake...
sometimes i wonder, why am i here? why am i doin things im doing?...ppl are suffering all over the world, and look what im doin here...why do we study? for the exam? well, im not an ambitious scholar, i dont think im able to do anythin good to anyone else even if i got good results...we drown ourselves in notes and books, swallow everythin...after the hateful exam, enjoy! every short-term memory that went into our brain subsides...and, this is my life in university...
...well, now, im here sitting in my room in the morning, raining heavily. i remember few days ago ppl were complaining bout no rain, how hot the weather is...i was supposed to go to my lab...well, now im just sitting here and wait...

2005-03-28T21:06:00.000+08:00

is there really in this world...something called...eternal?

my first post on good friday...

2005-03-25T12:10:00.000+08:00

it s good friday...it s holiday...
well, i was supposed to go out and have fun...and now im with my bf...in the lib...studyin...again......

i want to share my days, thoughts, anythin...with all my good friends...although i dont have much...
i hope there ll be no sufferings, tragedies, upset, ...
but too bad this world is full of those...

i hope every friend ll be fine always...

i hope my family ll be fine always and always...

but dont worry just live your everyday to the full...although i always dont...

ppl tend to neglect and forget...

there s some word of wisdom i should try to bear in mind when upset...

...may you never take one single breath for granted

god forbids love ever leave you empty handed...